Lately

So a post with many beautiful pictures is coming, this is just some thoughts. I really try not to complain, but not having a job is not feeling too great. The more rejections I get, the less money I have to pay loans, and the lack of jobs with my experience the more behind I feel. Everyday I remind myself that God has a plan and a purpose for me, but I'm not sure how much longer I am going to believe this.

On a different note, I see amazing opportunities of those around me. I know of someone going to Kenya in May, many whom have been to Haiti, someone who is in China now, Costa Rica friends, and my Russian-obsessed friends :) and I am almost jealous of those just doing. I have no where near the money to go and do, but I know I want to some how. I hear about Uganda and I just want to go and spread God's love, but I am in no financial means or am capable of doing this.

I know all of this seems especially whinny, but I am at a loss. I am constantly reminded of how amazing my father was and everything he did. I love that he was my father. I have not met anyone that compares. It just stinks that the past two years have amounted to nothing.

Well now that I have thoroughly brought the mood down there are some beautiful things in my life, too. A brother in the process of buying his first house, a best friend having a year in remission just bought a house, awesome youth raising up the name of Jesus, and many beautiful weddings to come! Don't get me wrong, I have been so blessed I cannot even count them. So many precious friends that have given me so many smiles! I cannot wait until God reveals His plan for me. I just hope I am the person He wants me to be.